The reason.

Okay, as I said I will explain why Colorado was kinda suck.

Basically, all who know me know that the reason I went to Colorado was to see the girl that I had had a huge crush on for a couple of years. Well, I had told her how I felt a few weeks prior to going out there and was handed back the inevitable "I don't feel the same way" line, so thus I was pretty much heartbroken, but was not really expecting anything different. After this little experience, and the awkwardness I felt that had to be there, I said maybe I shouldn't go out there, but she insisted it wouldn't be weird, and I should go. So I relented, and decided to go anyway... mainly with a false hope in my mind that maybe she would change her mind when I got there. (MISTAKE) so anyway, I went there... and of course things were "fine" at first, but then she started telling me about this other guy she was wanting to date, and all the details... so I took it in stride and tried to have a good time. Long story short though, I was there 4 days, and in those 4 days, she spent maybe a total of 4-5 hours with me, and at least 12-20 hours out with or talking to this new guy. Needless to say I felt pretty much like shit, and the thing that tipped me over the edge was the fact that she had 2 true days off while I was going to be there, and on the first real day off we were possibly going to do something together, she slept all day, then went out with the new guy ALL night, and didn't do anything with me basically. To top it all off though, the next morn when she came back in (at 7am), and I had gotten up at around 5am (my sleep schedule was off because of the time changes), she didn't even say good morning or greet me at all, and went straight to bed. So I decided then that I had to leave, mainly because I was having a HORRIBLE time and was feeling jealous of this new guy, even though I shouldn't be, such that she isn't my girlfriend. So I left her a "Dear Jane" note saying why I couldn't stay, and bolted out as fast as I could go... drove a good 1100 miles in one day, from 7am - 12am pretty much, and had to stop in St. Louis, because I was getting kind of tired :)

I did enjoy the rest of my vacation here in Loogootee surprisingly though, since I basically just sat around and loafed the entire time. Plus, the drive to and from colo. was pretty cool just seeing all the different states. I do not recommend driving through Nebraska though, it pretty much sucks ass.

So anyway, things between her and I now are pretty weird, we talked 2 times since I left I think, and we are supposedly back to being "friends" but I haven't talked to her for about 2 weeks now, and i really kinda don't want to. She tried calling today apparently while I was at work, but I left my phone here at home, so I didn't get it. I will probably try to call her sometime tomorrow, but I really don't know why... I think deep down I am kind of hoping she will end up hating me and eventually not call anymore, because I can't stop feeling the way I do about her, plus avoiding the situation entirely and playing games and watching TiVo seems to make me forget about how much it hurts temporarily(still!)

Also, because of this, I hit possibly a new sadness level... I actually went to eharmony, and filled out the profile thing again(3rd time), and was accepted... unlike the first time... and actually PAID for a 3 month subscription! WTF!? It's insanely expensive, but for the love of god, if this doesn't show how utterly desperate I am to forget about my feelings, I don't know what does! :)

One last thing, sorry about the length of this post... but hey, drama is interesting! ^_^

My new job!

Well, I am at my new job today... where I have full internet access while working. YAY! Seeing as how it is quite boring at the moment, I thought I would throw a quick post up just to let people know I still exist. Woot.

On a separate note, I am currently playing two MMORPGs off and on now, WoW still being one, and I recently got into City of Heroes. It was only 20 bucks at Wal-Mart, and I had heard quite a bit of good stuff... PLUS the ability to be a superhero is just a damned cool concept by itself anyway. So I quite enjoy CoH right now, it is surprisingly fun, although not that deep. The greatest part of it is the insane amount of things you can do to create your character, and you can actually make a truly unique looking character... unlike most MMORPGs. My favorite character thus far I have created is a Mutation Blaster called Jigowatt with (surprise) electrical powers. I will post a pic eventually of his greatness... but for now I cannot being that I am at work. Well that is it for now, I think I will go stand around and hope for someone to come in so I can sell them a phone. BaWoot.